Some things in life are bound to be tricky.
Like traffic jams, shopping malls at Christmas or, you know, when you you hear things like “is there any situation when you can’t practice loving others?“
Gen Dekyong at the weekend.
And I’m thinking “Yes.“
Then she says it a few more times in that helpful / annoying* way she has.
* (delete according to state of mind)
It has to be said here that I’m a deluded being, which is Buddhist speak for letting my unpeaceful and uncontrolled mind loose on the world.
Nothing to feel guilty about. We all have one. It’s the source of all our suffering and problems. Deluded minds like sticky, grasping attachment, and anger are the reason people fall in love, and why countries go to war.
They’re why stubbing your toe is so irritating and tripping up in the mall so embarrassing.
Deluded minds are why I can find Dharma teachings annoying sometimes. Even though I’ve been Buddhist for lifetimes and love Dharma to bits.
And I have to admit, I’ve remembered it! As much as it annoyed me at the time, it’s actually quite a good question. Try it ~ it’s wonderfully challenging!
“is there any situation when you can’t practice loving others?…”
I left my iPod with my notes on it in Charlie’s car. But that doesn’t stop Dekyong’s lilting Irish accent giving a voice-over when I’m slipping into irritation at someone.
Thinking of a situation where I don’t practice loving others isn’t too difficult.
Pretty easy actually.
But seeing as I was spending a whole weekend in the company of hundreds of people, most of whom I only vaguely knew; it would seem that I was stuck with the task of at least trying.
And to be honest, since we were all trying, it wasn’t that hard. Even for me.
And it wasn’t icky false niceness that people trying too hard to be Buddhist are sickeningly guilty of; it was a genuine feeling of social barriers being dismantled and taken away.
Holding others with a tender regard
So, Gen Dekyong’s advice? Something to work on (and more on it later), is to develop a feeling of closeness to others, a warmth towards them.
Dekyong describes this as our ‘homework’ – practicing what Geshe La refers to as ‘holding others with a tender regard.’
Easier with some than others. And and there’s some you wouldn’t want to be anywhere near, let alone close to.
But start easy, and I reckon it might just work.
In fact, it might well give us all that easy, peaceful feeling.
There are three main delusions, or deluded minds: ignorance, which gives rise to desirous attachment, which gives rise to anger.
These heinous minds are best left behind in favour of wisdom and love.
True, most folk don’t share their delusions (unhappy minds) with the world; but then this is why this blog is here – to air the yucky bits that the people I meet and I have; and the Buddhist answer to them.
Questioning my actions and changing the way I viewed folk definitely felt better for me, and I think maybe all concerned.